How Far Can They Push It.... Anyway?

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russellt
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How Far Can They Push It.... Anyway?

Post by russellt »

I got myself caught-up in the great loo-roll debate this morning, viewtopic.php?t=24303&highlight= and am now struggling to focus on my day job.

We all have a different understanding of the needs & expectations of our guests, and so going the extra mile for some is heresy for others.

As a light-hearted diversion, and with reverence to the return to London theatre of the improvisation show, ‘Who’s Line is it Anyway?’, I thought this morning’s coffee break could be entitled “How Far Can They Push It.... Anyway?”, and go along the lines of:

Imagine you are drawing up a set of T&Cs which cover all the bases. Complete the following sentence with as much irony &/or sarcasm you can muster: :D

“We do provide X, but we don’t provide Y!"

Eg
We do provide some toilet rolls, but we don’t provide extra toilet rolls!

We do provide a garlic crusher, but we don’t provide a supply of fresh garlic!

We do provide beach towels, but we don’t provide a b****y picnic!

Over to you! :D
Web: https://yofftoo.com/property/esmes-cottage
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mmg
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Location: Co Donegal, Ireland
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Post by mmg »

I had forgotten this, I meant to update the guest info folder at the time:

We do provide logs for the stove, we don't provide an axe!

After a very polite text request from a European guest midway through his stay.
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Moliere
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Post by Moliere »

You provide the "self" and we don't supply the catering.
Jumping is just dressage with speed-bumps.
russellt
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Post by russellt »

mmg wrote:we don't provide an axe!
You sure it was for chopping logs? Family holidays can often be quite stressful. Did they ask for a spade too? :wink:
Web: https://yofftoo.com/property/esmes-cottage
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mmg
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Post by mmg »

Good point russelt, they would have seen the spade in the shed. :shock:
Afrique
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Post by Afrique »

No Sir, self-catering doesn't include a 'concierge', nor a light supper and breakfast. (nearly put 'concubine', bloody spell checker!)
Fleur
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Post by Fleur »

Btw

Arrival time is 4p.m. that means here at the house, not your ferry arrival time at the port and then a 5 or 6 hour drive!
Fleur
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PW in Polemi
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Post by PW in Polemi »

Afrique wrote:No Sir, self-catering doesn't include a 'concierge', nor a light supper and breakfast. (nearly put 'concubine', bloody spell checker!)
:lol: :lol: :lol: Oh, so you do usually provide the concubine,then! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Dogs have masters. Cats have slaves!
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Moliere
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Post by Moliere »

PW in Polemi wrote:
Afrique wrote:No Sir, self-catering doesn't include a 'concierge', nor a light supper and breakfast. (nearly put 'concubine', bloody spell checker!)
:lol: :lol: :lol: Oh, so you do usually provide the concubine,then! :lol: :lol: :lol:
How very à la môde!
Jumping is just dressage with speed-bumps.
Essar
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Post by Essar »

Moliere wrote:
PW in Polemi wrote:
Afrique wrote:No Sir, self-catering doesn't include a 'concierge', nor a light supper and breakfast. (nearly put 'concubine', bloody spell checker!)
:lol: :lol: :lol: Oh, so you do usually provide the concubine,then! :lol: :lol: :lol:
How very à la môde!
"Them concubines can't stand 'em, 8l00dy sharpe quills everywhere and they leave such a mess"
"Write something, even if it's just a suicide note"
"There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise"
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