Could this be inappropriate or too sad??

Agencies and other headaches, keys and cleaners, running costs and contracts...in short, all the things we spend so much of our time doing behind the scenes.<br>
KAB-Dennis
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Could this be inappropriate or too sad??

Post by KAB-Dennis »

I have a very large looseleaf visitors guide in my cottage. It has been there for many years and updated consistently. It was always considered a very helpful addition to the cottage as it is a complete compendium of what to do, see, dining nearby etc.

Recently I have named our cottages for a very young family member who truly loved it here and passed away very suddenly. I have signage with their name on the front of the cottage and maybe guests are curious as to why it is named for someone other than the owners. I was considering creating a page to be placed near the front of the book dedicated to this family member with a photo of them enjoying their time here and a brief description of their love for the area and their sudden passing. Do you think that this will be something that guests do not want to read about on holiday or something that they would not mind reading about.

As a side not I am not sure how many guests truly read this guide as we do not get the compliments now as we did in the past. As much as I hate to admit it, even though we update it consistently, our guide has become a tiny bit of a dinosaur now that we have wi-fi and guests can ask google etc .....r equesting info for everything from appetizers to sunsets on their phones.
But we do have some interesting articles etc. that I believe some guests still read.
Kate
USA
e-richard
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Post by e-richard »

This is one of those issues that are very personal and that people's views may differ widely so you may choose to just "play safe" and omit the story.

From my personal POV, I think it's interesting and would happily read it.

Does that help? Probably not !
** Richard
PIMS: Holiday Rental Management system
They say we learn from our mistakes. That makes me a genius !
zebedee
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Post by zebedee »

How about a bit of a compromise?
Put the photos at the beginning, and say the cottage is named after your relative.

The book is to inform guests about local facilities etc, so explain why the cottage is now named at the end.

That way, guests can source the information that the guide was primarily provided for. If anyone feels upset, they can close the guide, but have already seen what they need to see to enjoy the area.

I think what you have done is a lovely tribute, and I’m sure your family find comfort in your actions and decisions. What a tragic loss for you all. I’m so very sorry.
AndrewH
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Post by AndrewH »

Maybe this is not the first thing that guests would want to read when opening your Guide, but I doubt if any decent minded person could object to a short memorial with a photo or two at the end of it. Far from being put off, I think guests would be interested to read it.
Ecosse
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Post by Ecosse »

As e-Richard says, whether guests are comfortable with this is a very personal view. Personally, and I hope this doesn't come across as insensitive, being faced with an obituary as I start my holiday would make me feel uncomfortable in your house: I would find it very sad and, depending on the age of your (obviously much loved) relative, my overactive imagination would automatically put one of my children in their place. I worry enough about my children and the last thing I want when I go on a 'switch off from reality for a bit' holiday, is to be faced with a very sobering reality.

I know not everyone will feel as I do, however, I think we have to be careful to eliminate anything that might make our guests emotionally uncomfortable. We don't know what's happening in our guests' lives and their holiday might be an escape from all sorts of issues. When I was pregnant, we lost a set of guests: they seemed a very pleasant couple who installed themselves in their room with their 2 dogs, whom they introduced to us as their fur babies. Half an hour later, the husband reappeared, apologised profusely and said they couldn't stay. He didn't give a reason, but I caught a glance of a tearful wife on their way out. In hindsight, I am sure they had either just suffered a miscarriage, or were coming to terms with not being able to have kids, and being faced with a pregnant host, as well as several happy kids running around was understandably too much for them. They came to escape, but unfortunately, through no fault of their own, they chose the wrong hotel.

In that case, there was nothing we could do, but had it been a 'controllable' issue, I would have been kicking myself for not hiding it from the guests in the first place.

Equally, I see no reason to eliminate all trace of your much loved relative and I'm sure you get a lot of comfort from seeing their name each time you drive up to your place. Your guests will see an attractive name, too, so I don't see the problem with that. If you wish to acknowledge them in the manual, perhaps a brief, discrete sentence (along the lines of 'in loving memory of... who adored this place) and photo at the back would be good? That way it links the house name with the person, without giving your guests too much information to dwell upon.
SPJ
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Post by SPJ »

I agree with Ecosse.
My strategy with our gite is to make our place as much as possible a "safe" place for our guests to stay. So many seem to come stressed out and so I set out to create a secure environment where they can just relax and unwind and not face any "challenging issues" - I include in this even what we talk about, letting them lead with the topics.
I think KAB-USA you already know deep down the answer yourself, because you have asked the question here. Whose needs are being met by what you are thinking about doing? Yours? Or your guests? I would always err on the side of caution and think about what creates the greatest harmony for my guests. Hope this helps.
GillianF
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Post by GillianF »

I agree, very much, with Ecosse. We had a young couple staying who had had a mis-carriage between booking and arriving and they clearly wanted some time together away from the memories.

I think an "In Loving Memory of ……" and photo at the back of your guide would be appropriate. I would also make it very clear the person remembered did not die on the premises. Some guests might think that and be really put off!
KAB-Dennis
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Post by KAB-Dennis »

Thank you for the input as that is why I asked the question because I was thinking that an insert might not give guests a warm and fuzzy feel. I felt that that this board could represent a cross section of guests thoughts.
Kate
USA
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