Is my listing site advert too American?
Is my listing site advert too American?
Hi all,
Philip over at Holiday Lettings shared with me that the average number of inquiries for properties in Burgundy was 18 over the past year. We had only 8, which makes me think that it was something about our advert that was putting people off.
So I've added more photos and tried to improve the text, including a more obvious invitation for people to click our website link.
But, I was wondering if those of you who are UK natives would mind having a look at the advert:
http://www.holidaylettings.co.uk/rental ... xois/22397
and letting me know if there are places where I could change the wording so that it would appeal more to UK residents. That seems to clearly be the target market of Holiday Lettings, and I don't want to turn anyone off because I'm using language that's unfamiliar to them. I've read this text too many times over the past few days to notice anything more myself!
And of course, if there are any other things you think I should do to improve the ad, I'm all ears!
Philip over at Holiday Lettings shared with me that the average number of inquiries for properties in Burgundy was 18 over the past year. We had only 8, which makes me think that it was something about our advert that was putting people off.
So I've added more photos and tried to improve the text, including a more obvious invitation for people to click our website link.
But, I was wondering if those of you who are UK natives would mind having a look at the advert:
http://www.holidaylettings.co.uk/rental ... xois/22397
and letting me know if there are places where I could change the wording so that it would appeal more to UK residents. That seems to clearly be the target market of Holiday Lettings, and I don't want to turn anyone off because I'm using language that's unfamiliar to them. I've read this text too many times over the past few days to notice anything more myself!
And of course, if there are any other things you think I should do to improve the ad, I'm all ears!
Brooke
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LOVE the virtual tour!
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Apartment Mil Palmeras
Apartment Mil Palmeras
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I do find that HL is pushing the boundaries with listing competing properties and/or 'Spotlights' on one's 'own' page.
HR is bad enough - I've got some idiotic leaping Virgin broadband banner on one of my pages at the moment, but to list other properties alongside one's copy is seriously annoying.
We pay enough for our pages, but to give away our page space for paid-for advertising is nuts.
MG
HR is bad enough - I've got some idiotic leaping Virgin broadband banner on one of my pages at the moment, but to list other properties alongside one's copy is seriously annoying.
We pay enough for our pages, but to give away our page space for paid-for advertising is nuts.
MG
Hi Brooke,
Maybe the fact that you don't accept under 5's or pets limits the number of enquiries you will get from the UK, but looking at your availablility (or should that be unavailability?) calendar, I wouldn't change that at all.
The only thing I could see was that on the 'How to get there' section you gear it more to the US market. If you want to appeal more to the UK market you could mention the driving distance from the ports (Calais, Dieppe etc.) and also give details of low cost flights from the UK to local airports via airlines such as RyanAir and EasyJet.
But aside from that and little things like 'inquiry' instead of 'enquiry' and 'tub' instead of 'bath' there wasn't anything too American at all.
Maybe the fact that you don't accept under 5's or pets limits the number of enquiries you will get from the UK, but looking at your availablility (or should that be unavailability?) calendar, I wouldn't change that at all.
The only thing I could see was that on the 'How to get there' section you gear it more to the US market. If you want to appeal more to the UK market you could mention the driving distance from the ports (Calais, Dieppe etc.) and also give details of low cost flights from the UK to local airports via airlines such as RyanAir and EasyJet.
But aside from that and little things like 'inquiry' instead of 'enquiry' and 'tub' instead of 'bath' there wasn't anything too American at all.
Thank you! I've changed those phrases.pete wrote:I dont think the 'americanism is over the top, but if you wanted you could loose
vacation rental, queen size bed and plush convertable,
also using the word cottage in the title in english means small !! which it doesnt look, from the photos,
I didn't classify us as a cottage until a few days ago, when I noticed that (aside from the chateaux) most of the other Burgundy properties on HL are listed as cottages, so I wondered if that's what people from the UK tend to search for if they're looking for a charming holiday or a "quaint" experience. I don't really think of us as a cottage, but it doesn't really matter what I think -- more what potential guests think!
Because of the location of our second bedroom, we can't market the property to families with young kids, and in fact we tend to get mostly couples (sometimes traveling together) or families with adult kids, so school holidays really aren't relevant to us. And it's also true that we market to people from several continents, so it would be a bit difficult to price appropriately for all markets at the same time if we were tuning our rates week by week. I find it a lot easier to have one rate for the high season and one rate for the low season, just to keep it simple.olive wrote:I think most British holiday-makers would be puzzled by the flat rate and might be reluctant tp pay the same rent in October as in August.
Why do you do this, vrooje?
I don't think of August as our peak month, though it is great -- more either June or September. September is a month of wine festivals and so forth, so it's a really popular month and it's why our low season starts in October. So actually guests don't pay the same in October (unless the last Saturday-to-Saturday week in September ends a day or two into October) as in August -- is that unclear from the pricing structure? I'll have another look at it.
I should note that the December-January booking is actually just us reserving the house for our personal use and for a bathroom renovation, so the calendar is not really full all winter! And of course, we still have plenty of 2010 weeks to fill. Like others here, our peak inquiry season for that isn't for several more months.
I just got a note from Philip that said:
I certainly hope that is a trend!You will be interested to know that this month we have recorded more than 60,000 enquiries sent to home owners advertising on our website. It is worthwhile noting that over 10,000 of these were for 2010!
Furthermore, 31% of those were for July and August 2010. It appears that the Brits are venturing forth again after their ‘staycation’ experiences in the domestic market this Summer.
Brooke
I agree with other comments and would be patting myself on the back to achieve the number of bookings you have, but in the interests of always trying to do even better, I'm going to nit pick.
I agree with LV that travel directions from UK definitely need to be there with more prominence that the US international flight info. I think you're 100% correct to think HL is not used by US people very much, if at all, even so, I would like to know how far from London, Rome, Brussels, and other major European capitals that might be included an American taking a multi country EU tour. Just a thought.
Also, I'm going to make a couple of general comments not relevant or specific to this listing. I hope these aren't too harsh.
Second generalization - your first paragraph is all about the house - not the lifestyle experience you can have in it - yes, I know, that's what the listing sites ask for that in that first paragraph, with activities further down, but it's a flaw in the system in my opinion.
It's good to put them into the location by giving them a taste of the experience somewhere in the first three sentences in my opnion. This can be done by turning a sentence around. For example, instead of saying, "Our two-bedroom, three-bathroom house is situated directly on the banks of the Armançon river, with spectacular views of the medieval town ramparts through the weeping willow trees that gracefully drape their boughs over the river's calm water."
Instead you could say, "Relax in the gardens on the banks of the Armancon with spectacular views etc...., then go on to say there are 2 beds, 3 baths. I don't have exact words, but the idea is that they imagine themselves there late evening before bed - views first, then bed. Or if you want to do it the other way round, then you have to talk about waking up in the morning in 2 beds, 3 bath house, and taking breakfast on the banks of the river.....
Not sure I'm explaining myself clearly, not least because these are quite subtle tweaks to what is already good and I'm in a bit of a rush, anyway, hope this helps. Otherwise, feel free to trash....
I agree with LV that travel directions from UK definitely need to be there with more prominence that the US international flight info. I think you're 100% correct to think HL is not used by US people very much, if at all, even so, I would like to know how far from London, Rome, Brussels, and other major European capitals that might be included an American taking a multi country EU tour. Just a thought.
Also, I'm going to make a couple of general comments not relevant or specific to this listing. I hope these aren't too harsh.
Never say anything like this. You are immediately excluding everyone who doesn't fit into your idea of what a renter looks like and it's really not your place to tell people if it suits them or not. You can emphasize certain features - romantic setting, but that doesn't have to be two people, frankly it might be a jolly threesome, and lots of people travel together who are not couples. half your audience is thinking whether or not they fit into what you're describing.The house is perfect for a romantic getaway for two, for a small family taking a break from their busy routine, and for two couples traveling together.
Second generalization - your first paragraph is all about the house - not the lifestyle experience you can have in it - yes, I know, that's what the listing sites ask for that in that first paragraph, with activities further down, but it's a flaw in the system in my opinion.
It's good to put them into the location by giving them a taste of the experience somewhere in the first three sentences in my opnion. This can be done by turning a sentence around. For example, instead of saying, "Our two-bedroom, three-bathroom house is situated directly on the banks of the Armançon river, with spectacular views of the medieval town ramparts through the weeping willow trees that gracefully drape their boughs over the river's calm water."
Instead you could say, "Relax in the gardens on the banks of the Armancon with spectacular views etc...., then go on to say there are 2 beds, 3 baths. I don't have exact words, but the idea is that they imagine themselves there late evening before bed - views first, then bed. Or if you want to do it the other way round, then you have to talk about waking up in the morning in 2 beds, 3 bath house, and taking breakfast on the banks of the river.....
Not sure I'm explaining myself clearly, not least because these are quite subtle tweaks to what is already good and I'm in a bit of a rush, anyway, hope this helps. Otherwise, feel free to trash....
Fabulous advice all, thank you!
A2, I hadn't thought about it, but of course you're right -- what I wrote to try and create a mood and plant a suggestion of "this would be perfect for me" might actually have the opposite effect. I will work on wording that is all-inclusive.
I also like the idea of using the first paragraph as more of an overall mood-setter, providing the main information but with priority on making them want to read further. That isn't exactly how it's billed in the owners' area, but it ought to be. It took a fresh set of eyes (well, several) to make me see that.
Thank you!
A2, I hadn't thought about it, but of course you're right -- what I wrote to try and create a mood and plant a suggestion of "this would be perfect for me" might actually have the opposite effect. I will work on wording that is all-inclusive.
I also like the idea of using the first paragraph as more of an overall mood-setter, providing the main information but with priority on making them want to read further. That isn't exactly how it's billed in the owners' area, but it ought to be. It took a fresh set of eyes (well, several) to make me see that.
Thank you!
Brooke