Advert review please!

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riley
Posts: 88
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 6:34 pm
Location: vienne

Advert review please!

Post by riley »

It's taken 18 months of hard slog, but we've at last got our property advertised. If I've done this right, this is the link
url=http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/lettin ... ray/r45850[/url]

Regarding the photos; the drive one I am re-taking so that the eagle statue is more prominent. The verandah photo is being re-taken now that we've furnished it. Yes, I wish I'd said 3 bathrooms not 2...can't see how I can edit the ad for this heading, perhaps I need to ring h-r to ask them to correct it.

Ad has been live since the weekend, but no enquiries so far, very disappointing after all the work & expense. Pricing has been difficult as there is so little to compare it with. I have done a fair bit of research & come up with what I hope are very reasonable prices for the accomodation & facilities in £...and then simply put a € in front, hopefully effectively making the prices more competitive.

What do you think; what would you alter?!
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CSE
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Location: Galicia

Post by CSE »

This is the link to the property: http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p835201
Seeing the advert went live just a few days ago I think you are expecting too much.
As you have asked some comments on the advert.
The title is Chalandray holiday chateau / country house there are photos of the château too. But you cannot rent the château; or have I got it wrong?
I feel that some of the photos could be dressed a bit more. The verandah and the 2 of the Spacious kitchen are ones that stand out.
Get the TV installed ASAP and update the advert.
Some pointers come across ans being authoritarian, Whilst they may be necessary maybe "tone down" some of the phrases.

I like the property but it would be too big for my use.

PS are you a B&B owner too?
Never try to out-stubborn your guests.
riley
Posts: 88
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 6:34 pm
Location: vienne

Post by riley »

Hi Ian & Irene,

Many thanks. So my computer "skills" are that good then! Thank you for doing the link properly.

Encouraging that you say we need to wait for a response. Frankly we would have preferred 2 separate 2-bed gite-type properties, but this is the hand we have been dealt, and I suspect the size of group considering our property will need to discuss & consider for longer than just a 2-bedder. It's just disappointing not to get enquiries after putting so much work in over such a long time.

The title "holiday chateau/country house" was the most appropriate of the choices given us by H-R in their advert set-up.

The chateau itself is not being rented out, but to answer your later question, yes, the plan is to offer some rooms for B&B. Indeed the previous owner ran a B&B business in the chateau, and renovated the original stables as his own living accomodation.

Thanks for the tips. The verandah is now fully kitted out. The kitchen...any suggestions for further dressing? Must admit the photo with the table gives the impression the table is small. It's not, it's fully extended & would seat 6-8 easily. The problem is that the kitchen is perhaps too big.

The TV. We want to instal something with a wow factor, but funds are too low at present....we need some deposits, & the certainty of income, before we can stretch to that. We do have a fair size TV available in the meantime, should guests enquire, & I can of course instal the satellite dish as we've bought that already. We rarely feel inclined to watch TV on holiday ourselves, & would hope there would be enough available here & locally to keep people entertained anyway...but of course I appreciate many will see it as essential.

We were up till 08.00 wording the advert so on hindsight, yes, some of it needs toning down....perhaps I should leave the butts detail for when guests arrive.

Not sure if you're inferring you might be interested in staying here (at the chateau) for B&B. If you are, let me know, the rooms are pretty well up & ready to go. Happy to do a special deal for another Forum member. We just need to tidy up; all our time has gone on the Manoir!
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CSE
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Post by CSE »

It was quite hard to suggest that some of your phases are authoritarian. You still could get the odd one that does not use ashtrays outside the building no matter what you say.
If you cannot purchase the TV at the moment do not bother mentioning it on your advert. Just say there is a TV. When you have that wow factor then you can add it later with an announcement to emphasise it is new.
That kitchen table should be extended and all the chairs placed around it then dressed. Maybe things like laid out for a meal or even a vase of flowers and a bottle of wine and glasses.
The property is tow big for us as there is only two of us, we would rattle around it like two peas in a pod. It does look a gorgeous property though.
I asked about the B&B as you mentioned a B&B in the advert. We sometimes pass that way on our way to and from Galicia and The Netherlands; (via the A10). It will make a change to stop off somewhere different.

Hopefully your research for price and value will come good soon.
Never try to out-stubborn your guests.
tavi
Posts: 2578
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 9:07 pm
Location: Algarve

Post by tavi »

Hi, my little apartment would fit into one of your bathrooms! Love your house...here's my suggestions.

I would lose the first line about "the previous owners" - to my mind it doesn't flow very well...kind of distracts the reader from the point of what you're saying. The first line is the one which needs to excite and interest your potential guests.

So I would rather say something like... "The Manoir is a magnificent 18c ( :?: ) building which was once the stable and carriage block of the nearby Chateau. Converted to a very high standard, it accomodates 8 in comfort and benefits from a stunning indoor heated pool, private tennis court and spacious grounds....blah blah"

Seems to me a good idea for the house to have a name - are you calling it Le Manoir? Or Le Manoir du Chateau? If so use the name consistently - this creates atmosphere and personality.

I think it might be better to remove the pictures of the kitchen table and verandah until you have better ones. Your potential guests don't NEED to have a photo of every nook and cranny but it's important that what they see (and read) paints the right picture.

Save the no smoking instruction for further down - near the booking information - the first para should concentrate on conveying the essence of the place and how it would suit me/my family/friends/business associates/etc.

Not sure if this helps but hope it does.

edit: just re-read and want to apologise if the above sounds a bit bossy. :D
katz
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Location: Finistere, France
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Post by katz »

Hi,

I agree with the previous poster about removing the first comments regarding the previous owner, no-one is going to care about that. I would make it more clear that the property for rent is in the grounds of a chateau. Everyone will think that their dog is well-behaved naturally so not sure of the point of mentioning that. Pictures in generally are good, though the verandah looks very bare, the meadow picture is neither here nor there.

Bonne chance!

Katz
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CSE
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Post by CSE »

After watching the recent episodes of 4 in a bed I would never call a property "Le Manoir"
I do not think anyone is bossy on this forum, We are honest, sometimes very honest. But reviews have to be..well don't they?.....please
Never try to out-stubborn your guests.
riley
Posts: 88
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 6:34 pm
Location: vienne

Post by riley »

Sorry for delayed reply, been very busy, unfortunately not with bookings!

Have started improving advert with help of your suggestions.

Ian & Irene: Think I'll go along with your suggestion re TV, might be a bit of a faff getting it all set up (can't simply plug the aerial in & go anymore, it has to be satellite), but once I've got deposits I can pay someone if I don't have time myself.
That kitchen table picture doesn't work, does it! The table IS big, & it's fully extended. Only two chairs as the property will suffer chair overkill (verandah now has it's own table with 8 chairs, & that's next to the kitchen). The idea here was to set a scene for a couple who'd like to share a coffee in the kitchen before everyone else comes down. The "buffet" behind is also huge, but doesn't look it. The kitchen is just too big

Let me know if & when you'd like to stay for B&B. Haven't seen 4 in a bed, will try to see if it's on youtube...anyway, what's the problem with Manoir, or Manoir du Chateau as a property name? Called it this as the previous owner referred to it as "le manoir", & I thought manoir & chateau might be a useful hook for search engines. Total novice speaking so I might have that totally wrong.

tavi & katz; reason for referring to the previous owner was to emphasize that the building has been renovated by someone for their own living accomodation, & by inference, that as he was the chateau owner, it would be to a high standard. Point taken though, & thanks for tips on wording. It'll be around 1870 as style indicates it was built at the same time as the chateau.

Whoops, if I've called it just "le Manoir" somewhere I must have been tired! Will check through...if it's a photo caption it might have been because of space restriction.

New (now furnished/dressed) verandah picture should be up now, have also changed those for Bedroom 1. Will have to try different shots of the kitchen to replace the table one. A gardening friend has told me about the dead banana tree in the pool interior picture...more obvious than I'd hoped...anyway there is too much clutter there as well. Reference to ciggy butts has been deleted, a statement probably best left until people arrive; less excuse for "forgetting" then!

I'm hoping that having stated "well behaved" dogs that people will also realise that as I'm a dog owner I will have appropriate expectations. Just like kids, of course everyone's dog is "well behaved", but what armoury do I have if I don't emphasize that? I'm hoping to attract a bit of a niche market because my impression is many (French) holiday properties won't allow dogs, especially upmarket ones (properties not dogs!). Yes I realise meadow picture isn't great. Purpose was more to demonstrate that there really are deer on the property. Unfortunately they're pretty nervous & that's the best picture so far. At least people can get an idea from that photo of the expanse of land here.

Thanks for all the comments so far, I've found them very helpful. I'm touched by the apologies for coming over a bit heavy; but I didn't take it that way. After all, if one's asked for criticism...! Thanks also for the kind comments about the property. I'm hoping my guests will really like it...if only I had some! 71 views so far on H-R; interestingly that has picked up in the last couple of days. Perhaps it's just LMH members!
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CSE
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Post by CSE »

Yep some of the posters here are nosy so you will get a pick up in viewers.
As for the title of the property. I will PM you.
Yep see the newly dressed veranda, maybe even a sports hall, as it is so big.
Never try to out-stubborn your guests.
katz
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Post by katz »

I think that you are now obliged to accept dogs whether you wish to or not - do a search on here :-)

We say we accept dogs but make an additional charge for them, we also state what we expect of dog owners in our T&C's. We have our first dog coming to stay in a couple of weeks so it will be interesting to see how that goes...

We are also on H-R and have had lots of page views but not many bookings so don't be too disappointed - it is very early days for you.

Your property does look lovely by the way :)
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CSE
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Post by CSE »

All about accepting pets :
viewtopic.php?t=16897
Never try to out-stubborn your guests.
riley
Posts: 88
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 6:34 pm
Location: vienne

Post by riley »

Comments about deleting reference to the previous owner, & tavi's suggested text set me off on a revamp of that heading section of my advert; so I hope the new version is an improvement.

I hadn't realised that this section was so "key". For some reason, H-R's advert matrix is set up in a different order, so you don't find out this is the first thing people read...until your advert is set, anyway.

Regarding dogs; yes, I was well aware that it is now "illegal" to refuse dogs here in France, however I believe there are some fairly wide loopholes for those who really object. As a dog owner I've never understood the animosity towards dogs, however "no bad dogs, just bad owners" can prove very true! We've always left places with no trace of the dog having been there. A bit anal, but we even brush carpets with the dog brush, as we know full well a hoover won't pick all dog hair up; not ours, anyway.

Good luck with your first dog booking katz, hope all goes well. One thing with the absurd pet passport requirements (assuming your guests are from the UK) is that there are a lot of hoops & expense to go through to qualify a dog; so hopefully those owners will be good dog owners!

As an aside: we stayed in a palazzo (a palace it wasn't!) in Italy. No problem with the dog. On the day we were vacating, we'd almost finished loading the car, including our own dog, to find on our final return to the room, that the owner's dog had come in & territorially pooed on our floor. We knew that was one argument we could never win, so had no choice but to clear it up ourselves. Ho hum.
Marks
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Post by Marks »

Just a few comments about photos:

Pool - can you get a photo with the pool cover off? It looks closed rather than ready for guests!

There are some photos with grey clouds, try and get blue skies.

The kitchen table and 2 chairs are lost. More chairs and dress the table? Otherwise I would ditch it.

It can see some dots, not deer! I would ditch that one unless you can get a close up of the elusive deer.
Some guests just need a sympathetic pat. On the head. With a hammer.
Circé
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Post by Circé »

I find the whole advert confusing, and I think that at those prices you should think about getting in a professional photographer, the photo entitled 'Poolhouse exterior/sun patio;tennis court on right' is particularly unappealing.
It's not at all clear whether I'd be renting the chateau, or... what? And where does the border collie live?
tavi
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Location: Algarve

Post by tavi »

Hi Riley, I think the ad's looking much better, the general "ambience" is more gracious now but I totally agree with Marks, better to ditch the kitchen table photo and the meadow with deer one.

Remember that YOU know how inviting the kitchen table for coffee is, and how picturesque the meadow is with the deer in the distance but your potential clients DON'T. Replace those photos when you have some that really convey the "feeling" you're trying to get across. At present, removing those photos won't detract anything from your ad. In my humble opinion.

p.s. Just cos I act like I know what's wrong with everyone else's ideas doesn't mean my own stuff is perfect - it's just easier to find fault with someone else than with yourself isn't it? If you have any comments on my site you're welcome to post them :!: I can take it. |I think.
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