Modern Parenting?

From the moment they step through the door your bookings become guests, and their experiences determine whether they ever come back.
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Mouse
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Modern Parenting?

Post by Mouse »

We currently have 2 families in our villa. 4 adults, 2 young teenage girls and 2 boys of about 10/11. We only had one family last year with kids this age (others were toddlers and no problem) and we did have problems of damage etc.

We also have a roof terrace with nice chairs etc for people to lounge or sunbathe.
Its very high as the land drops at the back of the house and has a waist high wall around it for safety.... except on the top of the turret which has only a 2inch lip around the flat roof. However you would have to specifically climb up onto this section as its not very accessible.

So....I am walking out of the apartment at the back of the house and am nearly missed by a flying object or two. I look up and see all the kids on the roof and one was actually on the turret roof!? So unsafe!!
My husband shouted 'hey kids - don't do that'. And I went round to have a word with the parents sunbathing by the pool.

Imagine my surprise when one of the mohters said 'Oh they're up there with their dad's' !!!!!!!!
I explained I was very concerned for the boys safety - she said she'd have a word.

I really hate being put in the position where I have to tell guests how they should be doing things. I can't believe the Dad's were up there allowing them to throw things off the roof and clamber all over.

I am now thinking of putting a sign up that children are not allowed on the roof to save possible accidents....but why am I (who doesn't have kids) having to advise parents of safety?

Once again I am left amazed!
I am wondering wether to say (for next year) that the villa is unsuitable for kids between 6 and 12 as this seems to be when parents give up on them and they get upto mischief

mouse
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la vache!
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Post by la vache! »

I would put a note in the welcome notes and not hesitate to tell them if you see that they are doing something wrong. I've just come back from the pool and had to explain to another family that flippers aren't allowed in the pool and if I see more than one child on the trampoline (where there is a notice) I always say something too. They don't usually need telling twice. Don't be afraid of doing this - after all, it would be you who would get the blame and possibly be sued if an accident ever happened!
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Post by A-two »

Good advice from Susan as usual. Can you lock off the turret altogether? If not, I would put a sign up at the entrance to it, also add something into the contract, and on your website.

We say this on our website about our Loft, "Stairs from the Second Floor Living Room lead to the Loft - which is a third floor galleried sleeping area above the master bedroom. Children love this extra space, but for reasons of child safety, we restrict it's use to over 12yrs old."

I discuss with parents of very young children if and how they intend to use the Loft before I accept a booking and quite often they change sleeping arrangements after we have talked about it. We provide them with a stair gate, so it can be locked off if needed and we actually put them in place in front of their eyes when they check in. If they remove them later, that's their choice.

I don't view this as telling people how to live. We are experts on our property, they are experts on their children. Sharing information between us before any booking is accepted shows care and concern and gives them the opportunity to decide whether or not it's going to be a suitable accomodation for their needs.

There's no reason for anyone to be in our attic either, yet someone managed to find one. That was a group of "adults" playing hide and seek. One of them put a foot through the bathroom ceiling. That's now locked off altogether.

So I don't think a "no children" policy is going to solve anything for you. Even if these parents had left their children at home, they would probably be throwing things off your roof themselves.
Last edited by A-two on Sun Jul 30, 2006 7:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Guest3
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Post by Guest3 »

I would leave a notice inside the house, on a notice board if you have one, or anywhere conspicuous, stating that children are not allowed on the roof. When you do your 'meet and greet' also mention that as a safety issue.

Some parents on holiday tend to be blasé about everything and need to be told about specific safety rules regarding child safety when renting someone elses property...even though common sense would tell a parent not to let any child on a flat roof with a 2" lip!

We send out swimming pool safety tips in an email when confirming receipt of the deposit. We also have this in the information folder and on the notice board inside the villa. So guests have no excuse in not reading the safety rules!
CostaBlanca
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Post by CostaBlanca »

Mouse,

I would also look at ways of blocking of access to the turret. Do you have to climb on to the roof tiles to get to it? Then it is dangerous along with possible damage to your roof. Why not gate the stairway to your roof terrace and lock it. If clients request it, you could give them a key but pointing out the possible danger of kids climbing on to the turret.

Saludos,
Maria
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Ju
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Post by Ju »

The other thing to think about is the potential damage to your roof. If they are climbing on roof tiles then they could do alot of expensive damage. I would be tempted to get someone out to look at the roof, and if there is any damage make sure the guests are billed for it!

Ju
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Mouse
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Post by Mouse »

thanks for all your advice (brilliant as usual).

The turret is where the staircase is in the house and it leads to the roof eventually.
You come out onto the roof terrace via small steps and these are covered with a flat roof. So the terrace is safe but not this roof. You have to scale a 5ft wall to get onto it - hence my surprise at seeing the boy up there!

I will put notices and say it is an adult (& older children) only space and mention it in the welcome pack and directly with parties with kids. As we show them around quickly when they arrive, we can do this when showing them the terrace.
Thanks for that clause Joanna - its worded very nicely but gets the point across.

thanks again

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ejc-free
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Post by ejc-free »

I'm just constantly amazed at what some parents think is acceptable behaviour....... maybe I've turned in a grumpy old woman - but we taught our sons now aged 23, 19 & 10 to be polite, have good table manners and consider other people - they also knew that if we said "NO" that that was it - and no amount of whining would get them a different answer.

But it seems even amongst our friends that all they want is an easy life - so that means giving in to the children, virtually never saying no and meaning it, and as for sitting up at the table and eating a meal with the family - well forget it.

This has certainly impacted our availability - we don't advertise commercially - but do let to family and people we know - at the going rate - but strangely - there are certain people that will never find an available week when they ask - because I won't have their little monsters running riot .....
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Giddy Goat
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Post by Giddy Goat »

This is a whole new can of worms, EJC, and the thread could run and run on such a theme. Perhaps we should start a new forum dedicated to dropping standards - are the Brits especially guilty in that respect? I'm embarrassed to have to observe that in France, when bad behaviour is in public evidence, the language being used is generally English.The common courtesies that the French apply when they enter a shop or restaurant etc or meet in the street still seem to reflect values such as consideration, politeness, respect for your elders etc etc which are fading fast in the Brit culture, and are being replaced in parents by complacency and, as you say, the 'anything to keep the peace' attitude. And as for table manners, it's quite excruciating to observe the variety of methods now being applied to the task of getting food into one's mouth. Even in the goat world, we feed more daintily than some humans!
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Alan Knighting
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Post by Alan Knighting »

I have a very old fashioned attitude towards behaviour and etiquette. I even dislike it when people hold their knives as though they were pencils.

I think there are two ways of doing things - the right way and the wrong way. Why do so many people adopt the wrong way? Is it ignorance or is it deliberate? Are they trying to make a statement of some kind?

Alan
Fraise
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Post by Fraise »

Alan- the pity is, a lot of people don't even know it IS the wrong way !! You'd be amazed at the number of 4 & 5 year olds entering school for the first time that don't know how to hold a knife and fork, there are some who don't even know what they are ! I kid you not !!
OK, OK , I know, Prof's hat on - "define wrong " ? :oops:
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enid
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Post by enid »

So difficult to say what is 'wrong'. I spent a lot of time trying not to judge the children in school via my middle class values. But I also agree with Jane and Alan that there is an increasing lack of respect and manners - or is this just because I am getting old?

'Wrong' for me is when you impose your behaviour on others without thought for their feelings. So I think loud talking in restaurants is bad mannered whatever language - if it spoils the pleasure of others. I've got one of the loudest speaking voices known to man ( useful when I was a teacher) added to which I come from Wigan - so if I can speak quietly in a restaurant so can everyone!!!
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Mouse
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Post by Mouse »

I totally agree with what has been said. Children need to be taught how to get by in this world and surely a big part of that it how to interact with others with manners, politeness and diplomacy.

Even in Spain the children are now losing the respect they had for their elders (though not as bad as in the UK). My Mum is currently dealing with a rampaging gang of 6yr olds who are terrorising the older folk on her estate!

Mouse
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BTW Enid - there's nothing wrong with a Wigan accent! I was born in St Helens just up the road! (though having lived in M'cr for 18yrs my accents a bit of a mixture!?)
You're not a rugby fan are you??
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enid
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Post by enid »

BTW Enid - there's nothing wrong with a Wigan accent! I was born in St Helens just up the road! (though having lived in M'cr for 18yrs my accents a bit of a mixture!?)
You're not a rugby fan are you??
Hurrah another Lancastrian - someone to help me keep the balance against all those Geordies that lurk around here.:wink:

I was really referring to us Northeners' habit of speaking loudly not the accent. Like you I have a bit of a mixed accent now - those bits of Wigan keep on creeping in 'tho. I am a rugby fan but it's never been the same for me since BIlly Boston retired!!!!
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Post by Fraise »

I feel another War of the Roses coming on !! I'm from Yorkshire :twisted:
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