Anal Complaints 2015

From the moment they step through the door your bookings become guests, and their experiences determine whether they ever come back.
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apexblue
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Anal Complaints 2015

Post by apexblue »

Wine glasses are too big

Too many coat hangers

Disappointed the forks had 3 prongs not 4


Please add yours.
It is better to remain quiet and have one think you are stupid, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt....

The biggest mistake we make in life is thinking we have time.
Hells Bells
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Post by Hells Bells »

:shock:
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Cassis
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Post by Cassis »

4. Rooms are too clean

Yes, really. :roll:
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Moved to France in 2004
Likes ducks, nature, gardening, furniture restoration, DIY, rugby, blah, blah.
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CarolineH
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Post by CarolineH »

What! OMG :cry:
Ecosse
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Post by Ecosse »

Cassis wrote:4. Rooms are too clean

Yes, really. :roll:
Noooo.... seriously?
jenboyle1959
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Post by jenboyle1959 »

" An extra bathroom would have been useful."
well, I suggest you rent somewhere with one next time, and pay £100 more?
GillianF
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Post by GillianF »

"We'd never have come if we'd known it would be this hot!"

This is France, in August.

and

"Do you provide breakfast in the cottage?"
"No, sorry."
"Oh, good. We'll book."
Circé
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Post by Circé »

In week 2 of a 4-week let (in France):
"I really miss having television, could you organise it please? I see there's a dish on the roof so can't you connect it up?"
Me (manager) :
"I'm sorry, no, the owner prefers not to have a TV in the property. The dish is in fact on next door's roof and belongs to them. But, out of interest in case the owner changes his mind - this is his first year letting - would you have liked French or English channels, and do you think we should also provide channels for the other nationalities who have booked this season which so far include Dutch, Belgian and German? Also how much more do you think the rental price should be with TV?"
Guest : "I'd hadn't thought about non-English channels, do people watch foreign TV?"!
Last edited by Circé on Thu Aug 27, 2015 4:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Cassis
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Post by Cassis »

gitemontjoly wrote:
Cassis wrote:4. Rooms are too clean

Yes, really. :roll:
Noooo.... seriously?
Yes, really. He said the rooms were too clean - almost clinical. Also he would not recommend us to those seeking a chateau-like ambience. Well neither would I - it's a blimmin' farmhouse. And this from someone who was on a fact-finding mission to France because he fancied running gites or B&B. Tosser.
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vacancesthezan
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Post by vacancesthezan »

"The clock was defective"

Their exact words.

Ie the battery had run out!! There were spare batteries in the drawer in the buffet
Afrique
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Post by Afrique »

'No screwdrivers'
'A radio would be nice'

On returning for a second stay they said ' oh it's so nice it's like coming home'
I said 'here's something you asked for, a screwdriver' they looked at me like I had just killed a puppy.
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Cassis
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Post by Cassis »

Afrique wrote:'No screwdrivers'

On returning for a second stay they said ' oh it's so nice it's like coming home'

I said 'here's something you asked for, a screwdriver' they looked at me like I had just killed a puppy.
Then, smiling, I thrust the screwdriver between his second and third ribs and twisted it sharply upwards through his heart.

"Hope you enjoy it", I said.
Real name Phil
Moved to France in 2004
Likes ducks, nature, gardening, furniture restoration, DIY, rugby, blah, blah.
Nightowl
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Post by Nightowl »

oh god... I can't belieeeeve it! (best Victor meldrew voice!)

You can't please all of the people all of the time.. and sometimes you can't please any of them any time...
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backwards......
Essar
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Post by Essar »

"The seagulls are much louder here than the ones we have at home".

So, I asked "You do know it's illegal to keep seagulls?"

Her look could not be described as "bemused", more "blank".

Her husband got it, shrugged and smiled that knowing smile "And I married her" look.
"Write something, even if it's just a suicide note"
"There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise"
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teapot
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Post by teapot »

Oh brilliant! After a long hard day this is almost the tonic I needed except for the lack of gin or a screwdriver! :lol:

Screwdriver
Cocktail
A screwdriver is a popular alcoholic highball drink made with orange juice and vodka. While the basic drink is simply the two ingredients, there are many variations; the most common one is made with ... Wikipedia
Main alcohol: Vodka
Ingredients: 1 3/4 oz (1 part) Vodka, 3 1/2 oz (2 parts) Orange juice
Preparation: Mix in a highball glass with ice. Garnish and serve.
Served: On the rocks; poured over ice
Standard garnish: Orange slice
Drinkware: Highball glass
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