Anal Complaints 2015

[Bunny]

Guests last week texted "we've collected the hire car, so should be with you in an hour". An hour later "we didn't realise traffic would be so bad trying to get out of London, we'll be at least another hour!"

[Ecosse]

'That's fine, ' said a couple of guys in a sporty convertible, 'it's a nice day and we've plenty of time to get to Braemar,'
'You won't get to Braemar this way, ' we said.
' Really? What's this road on my map, then? '
It was a hill walking track over several miles of peat and bog...

Ah, that's a product mismatch, they do occur, in your case a high performance car with a low performance brain, quite a common mismatch I find.

[PortugalGuy]

sooo many histories
this is from 24h ago
i got some bikes that i rent if guest want
so one of them said to me:
- 7€ is expensive did you know?
- ya, could be (me)
- with that money i could rent a car
- true perhaps i dont know (me)

then he told me that in his country bikes are left in streets like hundreds of them... and everyone can use. I smiled.

today guess what? that guest arrived asking for my bikes
- hey, could we rent your bikes?
- sorry, not available.
- oh and now?
- go to the city and rent there

And that's it... they are going to spend MORE money, because in city they are more expensive

[Robin S]

In the guest book from most recent guests (otherwise a positive review and a good review via TA):

"[] Not really a fishing lake as there are no fish and even if there were the waterskiing makes for unhappy fishing"

This was after they enquired about fishing shortly after they booked and i explained a) the lake wasn't stocked b) A speedboat ran almost constantly during the day on said lake and c) provided links to local stocked fishing lakes.

*Sigh*

[Bunny]

Recent e-mail just prior to arrival:

"Just wanted to check that the children will be supervised when they ride?"

Whatever gave you the idea we offer horse riding? Yes, we own horses, but absolutely nowhere on my website is there any suggestion that we offer it as an activity!

Having now had said children stay, I would have happily put them on our 5 year old thoroughbred and given them the ride of their lives. The fright might have shocked them into behaving.

Response from guest when told they could not ride:

"Oh, you do have chickens don't you?"

Yes, but your children can't ride those either!

[Essar]

Recent e-mail just prior to arrival:

"Just wanted to check that the children will be supervised when they ride?"

Whatever gave you the idea we offer horse riding? Yes, we own horses, but absolutely nowhere on my website is there any suggestion that we offer it as an activity!

Having now had said children stay, I would have happily put them on our 5 year old thoroughbred and given them the ride of their lives. The fright might have shocked them into behaving.

Response from guest when told they could not ride:

"Oh, you do have chickens don't you?"

Yes, but your children can't ride those either!

I'd just provide a couple of Rod Hull & Emu costumes - should do it!

[louloup]

Just want to say how much I am enjoying this thread

[polkadot]

The beach was wet!!!

Yes seriously!

[louloup]

I hope you are going to dry it before your next guests arrive Polkadot! I blame social media for giving the impression that life is perfect always.

[russellt]

"No olive dish"

(Great thread!)

[Bunny]

"No olive dish"

(Great thread!)

I've got an olive dish! It was a gift. Perhaps you could recommend my place to them.

[AndrewH]

The beach was wet!!!

Yes seriously!

[russellt]

Perhaps you could recommend my place to them.

We saved hard and finally invested in one. Provokes a smile every time we see it.

[FelicityA]

Oh goodness, I have forgotten to provide an olive dish!! I do have nut dishes and dishes for 'nibbles' but presumably it has to be one with the two sides so you have somewhere to put the stones. I had better rummage in my own cupboard now so I don't disappoint the next guests. And I thought I was the bee's knees with the egg slicer (never used I think...)

[PW in Polemi]

FelicityA - never mind the egg slicer, that's old hat now! What about the garlic crusher? And the METAL colander and METAL spatula/fish slice and non non-stick pans - because plastic and non-stick chemicals are not good for you!

And as for an olive dish - well, what's wrong with the egg saucer? Put the olives decoratively in the saucer and use the egg cup bit for the stones.

What I want to know is - has anybody equipped their self catering property with a rolling pin? Is this the new must-have? Or will guests be obliged to get creative with wine bottles?