Anal Complaints 2015

From the moment they step through the door your bookings become guests, and their experiences determine whether they ever come back.
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CSE
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Post by CSE »

It is now 2016! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Never try to out-stubborn your guests.
FelicityA
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Post by FelicityA »

PW in Polemi wrote:FelicityA - never mind the egg slicer, that's old hat now! What about the garlic crusher? And the METAL colander and METAL spatula/fish slice and non non-stick pans - because plastic and non-stick chemicals are not good for you! :roll: :lol: :lol:

And as for an olive dish - well, what's wrong with the egg saucer? Put the olives decoratively in the saucer and use the egg cup bit for the stones.

What I want to know is - has anybody equipped their self catering property with a rolling pin? Is this the new must-have? Or will guests be obliged to get creative with wine bottles?
I must be overly obsessive with provisions PW, as I have absolutely all of those things, including the rolling pin. I have just fallen down on the olivey thingy.
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Casscat
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Post by Casscat »

The mind does boggle at guests 'being creative' with wine bottles :shock:
Essar
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Post by Essar »

Yep - I have the rolling pin - had to change it though due to blood stains and a crack down one side, can't think what it was used for, but the Police were quite suspicious for a while when the guest's wife went missing. I'll have to get that lumpy patio sorted out soon.

Change the title of thread Apexblue "Anal Complaints 2015 to now" would be good.
"Write something, even if it's just a suicide note"
"There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise"
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Rogthedodge
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Post by Rogthedodge »

Bugger it is finished, excellent stuff.

Boring old me cannot contribute, sorry.
Deary me am I real.

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AngloDutch
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Post by AngloDutch »

PW in Polemi wrote:FelicityA - never mind the egg slicer, that's old hat now! What about the garlic crusher? And the METAL colander and METAL spatula/fish slice and non non-stick pans - because plastic and non-stick chemicals are not good for you! :roll: :lol: :lol:
We have just bought a new metal colander after recent guests managed to melt the side of the last plastic one, by placing it against the oven.


A similar thing happened with the toaster (one of those Tefal plastic ones). The side wall now has a large 'bubble' in the plastic where it has been melted by being stuck up against the oven. We will wait a while before we replace it with a metal toaster - the last one was almost new!

We only use plastic spatulas. Yes, the tops of them get damaged from the heat of the saucepans, but it saves the non-stick pans from being destroyed.
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Casscat
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Post by Casscat »

I have my own 'anal complaint', but it's actually a genuine one - my FB friends will already be aware of this. This week I spent two days in Nerja on business and could not get a room at the hotel I usually stay in, so I booked into the Parador instead. This purports to be a 4* hotel. I was shown to my tired but amazingly well appointed room (fabulous views from the balcony, but all rather careworn). Then I discovered that there was no soap in the bathroom, so I used shampoo to wash my travel-weary hands. I then noticed that there was hand soap after all, but it was unwrapped, clearly used and sitting on the bidet. Feel free to be as repulsed as I was. If only I could have conveyed one small fragment of that yuckiness to the hotel personnel. When I complained they brought me an avalanche of bathroom products - duplicates of what I already had plus - yay! - wrapped hand soap, but still the used anal cleansing product visited by person unknown crouched in my bathroom like some malevolent toad :shock: Eventually after the second call it was removed, and by then I had practised my Spanish for 'this soap is not mine' *pulls disgusted face* but hey, come on, who cleaned the damn bathroom??
Fleur
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Post by Fleur »

Oh yuk!!
Fleur
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PW in Polemi
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Post by PW in Polemi »

Oh gross! Shows a definite hiccup in the cleaning process ...
(Where's the puke icon when you want it!)
Dogs have masters. Cats have slaves!
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PW in Polemi
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Post by PW in Polemi »

AngloDutch wrote:We only use plastic spatulas. Yes, the tops of them get damaged from the heat of the saucepans, but it saves the non-stick pans from being destroyed.
We deliberately didn't buy non-stick pans because some guests will always use metal implements that damage the coating, and once it's damaged, it's harder to clean than pans that started life without the coating.
Dogs have masters. Cats have slaves!
SusanMay
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Post by SusanMay »

"Seagull feathers in the garden." Our cottage is very near a harbour!
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greenbarn
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Post by greenbarn »

SusanMay wrote:"Seagull feathers in the garden."
"Yes, we provide them especially so that when a seagull dumps on your head you have something at hand to wipe it off with." :roll:
kg1
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Post by kg1 »

Camellia petals all over the garden - it's in flower & windy!

Luckily it wasn't a complaint, just a comment.
Marks
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Post by Marks »

Phone call from guests last Wednesday morning:

"Hello, the smoke detector is going off."
"Yes I can hear it."
"What do we do?"
"Is there a fire?"
"No but we have been cooking breakfast."
"Have you burnt something?"
"Yes the bacon and also we set the toaster too high."
"Open some windows and turn the hob off."
"Your smoke detector is VERY sensitive." :shock:
Some guests just need a sympathetic pat. On the head. With a hammer.
brendan
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Post by brendan »

On finishing the ´ meet n´ greet´ spiel...

Guest: It´s very sunny
Me: You´re in Spain
Guest: Don´t you have any parasols?
Me: We built those 2 giant pergolas instead and there´s the enormous porch too.
Guest: But what if I want to sit somewhere else?
Me: That´s why they invented hats

At which point the ever-diplomatic OH spotted the steam coming out of my ears and dragged me off.
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