Lay My Hat

greenbarn wrote:

casasantoestevo wrote:Some of you have obviously hit the keyboards, without reading the links.
And a few of you have thankfully not done the above. Well done to those.

And some of us object to being patronised, and to seeing other forum members being patronised, and find it offensive.

What would you like to say to them?

You are you writing about now? If you are quoting the above post do you mean something we have written? Now we are confused.

Please have a peek at this. The same advice has been given on another thread.
http://www.laymyhat.com/forum/viewtopic ... ht=#344033

See we have only stated the truth. Now if some folks on this forum do not wish to read that is fine, and we are liberty to raise that point. Hopefully, they have now gone back to reread the information.

Why should we write names? Is that not against forum étiquette. The same way as pointing out folks lack of English "curiosities", when they are not native speakers.

casasantoestevo wrote:

greenbarn wrote:

casasantoestevo wrote:Some of you have obviously hit the keyboards, without reading the links.
And a few of you have thankfully not done the above. Well done to those.

And some of us object to being patronised, and to seeing other forum members being patronised, and find it offensive.

What would you like to say to them?

You are you writing about now? If you are quoting the above post do you mean something we have written? Now we are confused.

Please have a peek at this. The same advice has been given on another thread.
http://www.laymyhat.com/forum/viewtopic ... ht=#344033

See we have only stated the truth. Now if some folks on this forum do not wish to read that is fine, and we are liberty to raise that point. Hopefully, they have now gone back to reread the information.

Why should we write names? Is that not against forum étiquette. The same way as pointing out folks lack of English "curiosities", when they are not native speakers.

If, by 'pointing out folks lack of English "curiosities"', you are referring to my reference to "the grammatical deficiencies of English in the case of 'ought', 'should' and 'must',"- this referred to the deficiences of the English language and was in no way a criticism of you. I was merely trying to smooth the waters by suggesting to the other contributors that your comments are likely to have been made merely as words of advice. My comment was made with the best of intentions.

Casasantoestevo, are you Dutch, by any chance? If so, I understand your confusion - what is perfectly polite between two Dutch, can come across as demanding and critical to a native English speaker. It's even worse in text, as facial expressions are absent.

As an example, in a previous life, I was tasked with correcting the formal letters my Dutch colleague sent out. I was asked, because, having no grown up in Holland, I knew where she was coming from, unlike our other colleagues. My Dutch colleague, writing to a landowner, would write, ''You will paint the shed green,' instead of, 'We feel that it maybe more fitting in the Aberdeenshire landscape if you could consider, when installing the new shed, cladding it in green'. Eventually, she did this without being prompted and shortly after, went back to Holland to work in a similar organisation... where her new colleagues told her to stop pussy-footing round the subject and tell the farmer directly, as no one knew what she meant!

Your written English is excellent, but unfortunately it masks your true nationality and, as such, others won't give you leeway for your directness. Obviously, you shouldn't start writing badly, but perhaps, when others on this forum are offended by something you've written, rather than coming back with an argument, you could recognise that there was a cultural misunderstanding and that you may have been a bit too direct.

... and yes, I also think the way we speak in Britain is pretty daft at times... give me a straight talking dutchman any day of the week!

Bugger, liked that//...... +2

I think Casasantoestevo is a Scotsman from Glen Coe. I don't know how I know that. Telepathy? Am I right Mr.C?

One of us is Dutch, the other thinks like Dutch.
Going off topic neither are we Trump supporters, however being too PC shuts down conversations.
Hate writing about nationalities on here as we like them all the downside is somehow we all get pigeonholed.
Maybe there should be a change in our signature.
No there in never any pointing at one person. Never do that unless it is really needed.
Thank you to those that make a positive contribution to this discussion.

casasantoestevo wrote: Going off topic neither are we Trump supporters, however being too PC shuts down conversations....
Thank you to those that make a positive contribution to this discussion.

I think ensuring discussions are done with respect to others and keep to the topic is the best way to make a positive contribution.

I would recommend Transferwise to send money to Euro bank accounts to pay expenses and also for guests to pay Euro rental charges. PM me if you require a Transferwise link.

Ironic is a word you perhaps need to look up.
This conversation was going down the road of pigeonholing natives of countries and that is certainly not being PC

Casasantoestevo, please don't take my comments regarding Dutch directness as a criticism - it certainly isn't meant as such... and as I hope I made clear at the end, I much prefer the Dutch way of straight talking.

I mentioned it not really for your benefit, but for the benefit of others on this forum. To me, being used to the Dutch mentality, it was glaringly obvious where you were from, but because others didn't know, you were getting yourself into deeper and deeper water, coming across as offensive when you were only trying to get your point across succinctly. I didn't think you were being offensive, but I can see why others did.

You may feel nationality is irrelevant, but we're all different and should celebrate and understand those differences rather than attempt to hide or homogenise them. Otherwise, these sort of misunderstandings happen.

I agree with your comment about pigeonholing whole nationalities - it is definitely a mistake to assume, e.g 60 million Brits all behave in exactly the same way, but equally, it's a mistake not to take note of cultural differences. What's considered polite for one nationality is downright rude for another (try loudly slurping your noodles like the Japanese in a British restaurant!) and without an understanding of the culture of the person you're communicating with, we risk going through life being permanently affronted.

It's much, much harder than you think to get away from your cultural roots. The values we learn in childhood really are ingrained (jong geleerd, oud gedaan !) and while you may not think they're obvious, or that you've changed over the years, they still are to others. I love these differences, how boring would the world be without them? So long as these differences are never used in a derogatory way against a nation, I honestly don't see the problem with flagging them up.