Observing local courtesies

[Giddy Goat]

I sympathise on the neightbour front - we have lovely French neighbours and some guests can't even bring themselves to say 'bonjour', which is really rude, IMHO.

I haven't posted this under the French section, as I think there may well be similar scenarios in other countries: the French are supremely courteous people, and foreign visitors (not just Brits), new to the country perhaps, are often innocently unaware of the normal courtesies practised when out and about in France. The French must be disappointed and puzzled at the very least, when tourists behave in what appears to be a rude way. It's unfortunate, as adapting to local custom is so important in respect of engendering good will. I go out of my way to respond in kind with a 'bonjour Madame/Monsieur' when I enter a shop for example, and to thank them in a similar way as I leave. I love the way the French, at least in rural France, greet fellow diners as they arrive at a restaurant, and often also when they leave, so we make sure we do that too!

I have been tempted to put something about this in our guest manual, but can't find a way of flagging it up without making a few people feel I've insulted their intelligence, or sounding didactic! But if visitors are in the know, every little helps in terms of breaking down any negative feelings that still exist between cultures. And it makes guests' stay more rewarding too. You read similar advice in guide books when referring to local custom, don't you?

It's just how you phrase it without raising the hackles of those guests who are already regular visitors to France. Is it my duty, some might challenge? Well, the Brits, for example, still have a way to go as a group, I think, to improve their reputation in France - so any small measure like this must surely help?

What do others think?

[la vache!]

I don't think you can do a lot about the way people speak when in shops/restos etc., but I usually say something like this when doing the meet and greet
"all our neighbours in the village are French, they've lived here many years and are very friendly - they don't speak English themselves, but if you want to practice your French, they always appreciate a 'bonjour' and enjoy a chat, you may even get invited in for a glass of homemade cider!"

[Vally]

Over the last few years the French have been my all round fav. visitors, they don't always speak a lot of English , and my French is very rusty, but we get by and just using an odd word if they are not getting the gist , puts them in raptures

[Rocket Rab]

GG, I wholeheartedly support your endeavours to promote 'entente cordiale'...but I agree, it is difficult to find an appropriately tactful approach. Can't help with any suggestions, I'm afraid.

Perhaps we are worrying unnecessarily? I usually find a lot of tolerance and goodwill amongst the locals (although the income generated by visiting Brits admittedly helps smooth things along!)

There is one thing, though, that French property owners moan about all the time - the state in which (many) UK renters leave homes on departure. I'm afraid the UK market has a poor reputation in this area, definitely due to a huge mismatch in expectations on both sides!

Leaving properties dirty (filthy in some cases..) IS regarded as rude and disrespectful here in France... to put it bluntly, the French just don't 'get it'... and I believe I am right in saying that neither do the Swiss or the Germans. Perhaps some cultural 'education' would be in order here?? But that's another can of worms, I know!!

[la vache!]

Jenny,
I can imagine how frustrating it must be for French owners having UK guests! The mentality of renting a gite and what it entails is completely different for the two nationalities. I always look forward to my out of season lets to the French because there is very little work for me to do - but it is the UK renters who bring in most of my income, and as they will generally pay a lot more for a rental than French/German or Swiss guests do, I don't mind the extra work involved in cleaning up after them!

[Rocket Rab]

it is the UK renters who bring in most of my income, and as they will generally pay a lot more for a rental than French/German or Swiss guests do, I don't mind the extra work involved in cleaning up after them!

You are absolutely right, of course, Susan. And that is what I tell myself. Nevertheless, the impression left is a bad one!

[Bellywobble]

When we once stayed in a cottage in France, I paid an extra fee to have the cleaning done. Most of this was refunded by post, because the cleaner said she didn't have much to do. I've always been proud of that, but have to confess that I'd completely forgotten I'd paid the extra, so did the cleaning anyway

[Partridge]

Hi GG

Surely regular visitors to France would have to be a bit pompous to not like a reference on local culture/custom but then it takes all sorts. Infact, if they're that stuck up then they would probably happily feel quite superior if it is worded a certain way, you know 'Oh that doesn't apply to us daaarling'

How about something like 'Do you parlez vous ?' assuming most people remember the fundamentals or 'If you're new to France a few suggestions to make the most of your stay' or 'If your French is a little rusty' or 'Getting by in the shops with a little French', there's loads of things you could say. Then you could put a few basics in there and maybe add at the beginning or the end what is customary ie queueing or not (always gets me worried that one) / if they see the neighbours / the basic good morning, evening etc. Seeing as French is not often pronounced as it reads (think Del boy), maybe it would be a bit of fun to spell it phonetically as well, although may be wise to have 'this is how it is is pronounced' as Del boy probably wouldn't understand 'phonetically' (oops, probably spelt that wrong)

My friends stayed at our apt last year and without being mean I thought they would be the last people to try a bit of Spanish. I went through some basics with them and they really enjoyed using the dictionary out there to list things before they ventured out for the day. Also, they were the only ones ever to regularly use a taxi service (not much English spoken by them) but they loved it. It also made me realise I needed to leave a good thick note pad in the apt.

[Jimbo]

Gascony Goat wrote:

Well, the Brits, for example, still have a way to go as a group, I think, to improve their reputation in France

Hi GG

Good luck trying with your Brit visitors but I think you're probably on a hiding to nothing. I've worked for a number of Anglo-French companies over the years and the French do feel that many English people are barbarians.

In one company, I observed the English workers using the self-service site canteen eating fried fast-food still wearing their dirty overalls and hard hats whilst their French counterparts changed into clean clothing, refused to use the site canteen and went en masse for lunch to a local restaurant where they were served freshly-cooked food and wine by a waiter.

Don't mean to sound like Digusted from Tunbridge Wells but a lack of courtesy and respect in England was one of the reasons that I was happy to move to a civilised country like France. Just doesn't seem important any more to be polite in the UK.

Jim

[Giddy Goat]

'Fraid I have to agree with you Jim - and in addition, it's the French sense of style that is now sadly lacking back at home - other than in tiny, privileged pockets.

[Partridge]

Dunno wot ur on about, wen I get me giro I always say fanx n all that stuff and if i get sik wiv me mates its always outside on da road so I dont make the pub smel, ya know

Seriously though, I wouldn't write off Blighty just yet, once you get out of London I find good manners far more in evidence.

[vrooje]

GG, I think you have a good point. It would be very useful for some of our visitors to have a primer on local courtesies they can expect to encounter.

The funny thing is, though, I don't actually know what they all are!

[Giddy Goat]

if i get sik wiv me mates its always outside on da road so I dont make the pub smel, ya know

Partridge, you are a one!!!

Brookie, I'm not sure there are that many individual social rules, but generally simply greeting people with a bonjour (Monsieur, Madame), merci M/Mme in shops, inc the supermarket checkout, merci et au revoir M/Mme, bonne soiree/journee, route, retour - and the nice one I mentioned about greeting fellow diners in restos as you arrive and leave. Can't think of any others offhand - too much French wine this evg!:D Helllp someone!

[Nessie]

[quote="Gascony Goat
The French must be disappointed and puzzled at the very least, when tourists behave in what appears to be a rude way. It's unfortunate, as adapting to local custom is so important in respect of engendering good will. I go out of my way to respond in kind with a 'bonjour Madame/Monsieur' when I enter a shop for example, and to thank them in a similar way as I leave. I love the way the French, at least in rural France, greet fellow diners as they arrive at a restaurant, and often also when they leave, so we make sure we do that too!

[/quote]

We were in a restaurant last week and a group of tourist came in, they didn’t speak as they were shown to there table. The family at the next table to us looked across at us and said foreigners, thought the holiday season was over

[Giddy Goat]

There you go!! We stick out a mile!