Am I being too friendly....?

[Rocket Rab]

What do you think about using first names with (English-speaking) guests?

Is it too friendly / unprofessional /disrespectful?

It works for me, I think it helps build a rapport - maybe you prefer a more formal approach?

I wouldn't be bold enough to use first names with French guests (unless invited to).

I'm not sure about guests from the US (have only had two families so far). I just plunge in and go for the first name approach: but perhaps I am innocently making a cultural cock-up?

[Fraise]

Hi Jenny. I sort of wait till they tell me their names altho if I have to say their name first I usually go for the first name. I always introduce myself first then they introduce themselves back. I use my Christian name. Often some sort of rapport has developed thro e-mail.If someone always signs their e-mail Mrs /Mr so and so then that's what I call her/him. I do try and look decent for meet and greet but no makeup, usually( it's too hot in the day anyway). When I did the cleaning myself I used to pack a spare set of clothes,now I try and turn up about 20 mins before arrival time to do the flowers and check everything out.

[Rocket Rab]

When I did the cleaning myself I used to pack a spare set of clothes

Yep, that's me, Fraise. Still at 'stage one' - DIY - but working hard on getting to stage two - employ someone - this year

[Partridge]

I agree with Fraise, you can usually tell from the correspondance but I would find it strange in this day and age if any American or English guests would expect to be formally addressed.

[Fraise]

I agree with Fraise, you can usually tell from the correspondance but I would find it strange in this day and age if any American or English guests would expect to be formally addressed.

You're right BUT I had one who called herself "Mrs.." so I called her that and she seemed happy!! I had an academic also who stuck to her title like glue !

[Rocket Rab]

Hi Partridge,

I had a lovely American family the other week - he was maybe late 50s, referred to himself as being from the South, and had that broad American kinda drawl....know what I mean? I kept getting the urge to address him as 'Sir!' (I resisted!).

How does it work with Spanish guests? Would they expect to be addressed more formally?

[Partridge]

Wouldn't have a clue Jenny, never had any and if I did it would be the management people we use who greeted them, well actually more like 'who they pick the keys up from'

[Guest3]

When I get a booking and if I have a Christian name I always reply using the Christian name and from then on we're on 'first name terms', which makes our meet and greets very informal and friendly.

[Sue Dyer]

I try to be chatty and informal. I try to give the impression I'd welcome their booking without being desperate for it, if that makes sense!

I often pick up on things in emails, such as "I'm on holiday to see puffins", sending links to puffin site for the region/photo link, waxing lyrically how lovely and deserted the beaches are and how dogs/kids love them. I try to personalise the cottage/area with a warm glow! Some guests still stay in touch and have sent bits for my kitchenalia museum, photos for the site etc.

As you say, there are the odd few who introduce themselves as "Mrs xxx" (usually by phone, don't trust t'internet) so I reply in kind. I usually manage to build up a rapport with guests past and present. I guess the acid test is if they come back. We're doing okay for Feb/March already which is brilliant for the cold desolate (but beautiful) borders of Northumberland/Scotland.

[la vache!]

Jenny,
I find the same as you - most of my bookings come via e mail from the UK and they are nearly all informal - I can count on one hand the number of guests I've referred to as Mr/Mrs. It is all done on a Christian name basis - they also refer to me in that way as I sign my e mails Susan.
On the other hand - France! Probably more than 50% contact me by telephone first and it is generally on a M. or Mme basis. That is how they are addressed, usually until they get here, although I always refer to myself in e mails as Susan, they still ask for Mme H......... Very often, with younger guests, my age or below, it changes when they are here and they call me Susan, but with the older ones, it is always M et Mme, even repeat visitors! It comes down to the old 'tu' and 'vous' issue I think!

[Jimbo]

Jenny wrote:

What do you think about using first names with (English-speaking) guests ... I'm not sure about guests from the US

This is a knotty problem, no matter what you do for a living. I try to get my retaliation in first by marching up to new guests with outstretched hand/smile saying 'Hi, I'm Jim ... ' If they respond with 'Good morning, please call me Chief Superintentant Barnes', I get the message and prostrate myself on the ground.

Fortunately, most people (French excepted!) in our experience prefer to use their first names. If they make it obvious that they're uncomfortable with such informality, we go with Mr and Mrs. He who pays the piper and all that. My father used to say it's an 'age' thing. Christian names are fine with people younger than you but be cautious with those who are older.

We've had lots of Americans guests and they've all been happy to use first names. Unfortunately, they're often called 'Gomer' or 'Bliss' or 'Dack' so, on balance, we'd actually prefer to call them Mr and Mrs Sprecklegruber ...

Jim (aka The Lord Jimbo)

[Rocket Rab]

Thanks for all your replies, gals! (Is it only us wimmin who do the meet and greets!?)

Soodyer wrote:

I try to be chatty and informal. I try to give the impression I'd welcome their booking without being desperate for it, if that makes sense!

I often pick up on things in emails

That's the impression I'm aiming for too, Soodyer. Like you, I keep a note (on my booking form) of little things that come out in email correspondence which I can then maybe pick up on during the meet and greet...one guest has mentioned her little boy will turn 6 the day they arrive --- so big red star by that remark, methinks!

Susan wrote:

On the other hand - France! Probably more than 50% contact me by telephone first and it is generally on a M. or Mme basis.

Funny how these things vary from country to country, isn't it? I also find the French prefer telephone contact. They seem, at least, to be more distrustful of the Internet (but Gawd knows what they think when they get me on the end of the line with my English accent....!)

[Rocket Rab]

Sir Lord Jimbo,

Thank you for your illuminating reply...an excellent summary of what is obviously a social minefield

You appear to be a lone male in female territory ? !! (We posted at the same time...)

[la vache!]

Jim,
Are you by any chance a Bill Bryson fan?

[Ju]

I think it also depends upon the age of the person.

Normally the person who books our gites is the parent of young children. So they are usually about my age and I would address them by their first names.

Sometimes however it is the grandparent who books / arrives first. In this case I always use Mr/Mrs until invited to use the first name.