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How Far Can They Push It.... Anyway?

 
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russellt



Joined: 09 Dec 2014
Posts: 319
Location: Ivybridge, Devon, UK

PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2016 8:40 am    Post subject: How Far Can They Push It.... Anyway? Reply with quote

I got myself caught-up in the great loo-roll debate this morning, http://www.laymyhat.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=24303&highlight= and am now struggling to focus on my day job.

We all have a different understanding of the needs & expectations of our guests, and so going the extra mile for some is heresy for others.

As a light-hearted diversion, and with reverence to the return to London theatre of the improvisation show, ‘Who’s Line is it Anyway?’, I thought this morning’s coffee break could be entitled “How Far Can They Push It.... Anyway?”, and go along the lines of:

Imagine you are drawing up a set of T&Cs which cover all the bases. Complete the following sentence with as much irony &/or sarcasm you can muster: Very Happy

“We do provide X, but we don’t provide Y!"

Eg
We do provide some toilet rolls, but we don’t provide extra toilet rolls!

We do provide a garlic crusher, but we don’t provide a supply of fresh garlic!

We do provide beach towels, but we don’t provide a b****y picnic!

Over to you! Very Happy
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mmg



Joined: 04 May 2016
Posts: 58
Location: Co Donegal, Ireland

PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2016 10:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had forgotten this, I meant to update the guest info folder at the time:

We do provide logs for the stove, we don't provide an axe!

After a very polite text request from a European guest midway through his stay.
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Moliere



Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 4592
Location: Magalas, Languedoc

PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2016 10:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You provide the "self" and we don't supply the catering.
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russellt



Joined: 09 Dec 2014
Posts: 319
Location: Ivybridge, Devon, UK

PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2016 10:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

mmg wrote:
we don't provide an axe!



You sure it was for chopping logs? Family holidays can often be quite stressful. Did they ask for a spade too? Wink
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mmg



Joined: 04 May 2016
Posts: 58
Location: Co Donegal, Ireland

PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2016 11:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good point russelt, they would have seen the spade in the shed. Shocked
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Afrique



Joined: 18 Jul 2011
Posts: 91
Location: Porto Portugal

PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2016 11:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

No Sir, self-catering doesn't include a 'concierge', nor a light supper and breakfast. (nearly put 'concubine', bloody spell checker!)
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Fleur



Joined: 25 Jan 2011
Posts: 402
Location: S.W. France

PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2016 11:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Btw

Arrival time is 4p.m. that means here at the house, not your ferry arrival time at the port and then a 5 or 6 hour drive!
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Fleur
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PW in Polemi



Joined: 21 Oct 2012
Posts: 1731
Location: A village in Paphos, Cyprus

PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2016 12:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Afrique wrote:
No Sir, self-catering doesn't include a 'concierge', nor a light supper and breakfast. (nearly put 'concubine', bloody spell checker!)

Laughing Laughing Laughing Oh, so you do usually provide the concubine,then! Laughing Laughing Laughing
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Moliere



Joined: 08 Mar 2007
Posts: 4592
Location: Magalas, Languedoc

PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2016 12:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

PW in Polemi wrote:
Afrique wrote:
No Sir, self-catering doesn't include a 'concierge', nor a light supper and breakfast. (nearly put 'concubine', bloody spell checker!)

Laughing Laughing Laughing Oh, so you do usually provide the concubine,then! Laughing Laughing Laughing


How very à la môde!
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Essar



Joined: 12 Jun 2011
Posts: 3244
Location: Bournemouth

PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2016 7:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Moliere wrote:
PW in Polemi wrote:
Afrique wrote:
No Sir, self-catering doesn't include a 'concierge', nor a light supper and breakfast. (nearly put 'concubine', bloody spell checker!)

Laughing Laughing Laughing Oh, so you do usually provide the concubine,then! Laughing Laughing Laughing


How very à la môde!


"Them concubines can't stand 'em, 8l00dy sharpe quills everywhere and they leave such a mess"
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