My heart bleeds... But my sides are splitting!!!

Post scam emails to warn other rental owners, or if you are not sure if an enquiry is genuine, put it up here and see what others think.
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Normandy Cow
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My heart bleeds... But my sides are splitting!!!

Post by Normandy Cow »

I just got this email, and although it is not related to holiday rentals, I thought I'd share it with you all so that we can all have a good laugh on this grey and miserable day....
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

From: Lady. Melissa Williams.
22 Oxford Court,
Manchester, M2 3WQ,
England.

Here writes Lady. Melissa Williams, suffering from cancerous ailment. I am married to Mr. Thomas Williams an Englishman who is dead. My husband was into private practice all his life before his death. Our life together as man and wife lasted for three decades without child. My husband died after a protracted illness. My husband and I made a vow to uplift the downtrodden and the less-privileged individuals as he had passion for persons who cannot help themselves due to physical disability or financial predicament.

I can adduce this to the fact that he needed a Child from this relationship, which never came.

When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of Twenty Million Great Britain Pounds Sterling) which were derived from his vast estates and investment in capital market with his bank here in UK. Presently, this money is still with the Bank. Recently, my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the cancerous problems I am suffering from. Though what bothers me most is the stroke that I have in addition to the cancer. With this hard reality that has befallen my family and me, I have decided to donate this fund to you and want you to use this gift which comes from my husbands effort to fund the upkeep of widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially.

I took this decision because relatives and friends have plundered so much of my wealth since my illness; I cannot live with the agony of entrusting this huge responsibility to any of them. Please I do not want this money to be misused hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord.
Exodus {14 VS14} says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my soundless voice and presence of my husband's relatives around me always.

Contact my lawyer with this specified email address:
Barrister Pedro Jones
Email: barrpedro_legal02@XXXX


Tell him that I have WILLED the said sum to you and the reason for doing this is best known to me.

Your Sister,

Lady. Melissa Williams
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Big Sis..
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Post by Big Sis.. »

Well...NC... :!:

What a story :shock: ..Didnt I see that once on at the Odeon :roll: ....bit of a tragedy :( ....
What you gonna do with all that dosh..and which one of the poor unfortunate categories do you think she thought you were.....
She really did go for overkill on this didnt she...My Jaw dropped at the beginning which was unfortunate as then it couldnt go any further.... :o
Thanks for sharing :wink:
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Post by guest 4 »

Nc,

Thou'st hath been blessed by this charitable and wonderous human being, I trust thou will answer with gratitude and much humble thanks.

This has restored my faith in human nature, to be so generous to us, the unfortunate ones. We must be truely grateful, one and all, that such a lady still exists in this dark world of ours.

Ruth :lol:

P.S. thanks for the laugh, perhaps she is a throwback?
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Mouse
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Post by Mouse »

Oh NC - that was just what I needed! :lol: :lol: :lol: thanks!

Good point Ros...I could see this being made into a real tear jerker...perhaps Meryl Streep for the staring role?

Mouse
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Post by Big Sis.. »

perhaps Meryl Streep for the staring role?
:shock:

I could do it Mouse :!:.....
on second thoughts having to play a person with a 'Soundless voice' might be a too large a jump from my personality :roll: even for an actress of the talent wot i got.
.Mind you it would be handy when having to learn lines wouldnt it :wink:
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Mouse
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Post by Mouse »

I am married to Mr. Thomas Williams an Englishman who is dead.
this was the bit that made me howl...I was thinking 'bet that's a bummer on the social circuit'. Sorry - my warped sense of humour.

bet her rellies will be a bit P.O'd when they find they've not been left anything :lol: .
Tho' why someone so rich would live in Oxford Court M/cr M2 is beyond me...perhaps she keeping a low profile :roll:

Mouse
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Post by Guest3 »

Good one NC! Made me laugh out loud when I read it! :lol: :lol:
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Big Sis..
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Post by Big Sis.. »

perhaps she keeping a low profile
Deffo not a role for me then :wink:

NC what about replying :?:
I bet the follow on Email would be just as hilarious.....Go on give ole Pedro Jones[weird name] an email I betcha his wording will be much the same as her Ladyships :shock: what a surprise :o that would be
...actually she types quite well for someone whose had a stroke ... :roll: think of her struggling just to email you you poor unfortunate child :wink:
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Post by Nightowl »

I am married to Mr. Thomas Williams an Englishman who is dead.
yup, that was my favourite bit too. Brings that Fast Show sketch, Mr Dead, to mind....
Nightowl
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Post by Mouse »

that's exactly what I was thinking about Nightowl!!! :lol:

Mousie (a fast show fan!)
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