Although hesitant to post this topic I'm so glad I did. It is an amazing thread which I have got allsorts out of - advice, support and just feeling that my situation could be so much worse.
Dad seemed a lot more cheerful today, my brother took him out for a run to Penshaw Monument which I think the Northerners on the site have previously discussed (The Lambton Worm wrapped itself around there!!). Dave and I have a couple of trips lined up for him too, we did a short hike yesterday which Dad would manage no problem and it gives you stunning views of Bamburgh Castle and Budle bay so we've promised to take him there shortly and Alnwick Garden too. I guess what is important is having something to look forward too.
Thanks everyone!!
Oh, just thought. Mam used to be funny, even when she was 70 she wouldn't go to the pensioners club down the road "cos they are all old folk and they complain about the price of a cup of tea!!" I guess most old folk don't think of themselves as old folk just like I'm in denial I'm middle aged
Aah , the beauty of Budle Bay, what the rest of the country is missing. !!! We have been going there since I was 6. We took our kids there one February when they were very small. Deserted, cold and even more beautiful than Summer.
Hope you get your Dad sorted out Sue.
Last edited by Hells Bells on Sun Nov 27, 2005 2:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Catherine, your post really struck a chord when I read it; I have been away for a few days, so wasn't able to write this earlier. I'm glad that, deep down, you say you are very positive. So, deep down you must also know that you aren't to blame for the position your parents are in. Your mother knows and understands, I'm sure, that you can not do more, and your father, sadly, will now never know. That must tear at your heart strings big time. Every time you get a call from him, or a message, how painful it must be. But please, please, let go of the guilt, it's such a destructive force - you've done absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. On the contrary, you've done all you can to help, within your own set of circumstances.
You have probably already had contact with the ADS, but if not, there will be carers' support available in your area, hopefully, and if you have discounted making contact with them up until now, maybe give it a whirl? You have nothing to lose.
If your father's constant phone calls are seriously affecting your own sanity and everyday life, then it may be possible to get some help from his Community Psychiatric Nurse via his GP. But I do hope he settles soon - and your mother also. Keep us posted, and good luck.
Last edited by Giddy Goat on Sun Dec 11, 2005 9:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
Thanks Jane, and to the others who have replied to this thread and PM'd me. It's really appreciated, and yes most of the time I am very positive but just occasionally I hit rock bottom (as I did last week when I let it all out on the forum!).
Amazingly my dad hasn't called me for a few days - I think he has lost the bit of paper with my name scribbled on it. I still call him but he has not been too bad. So yes there are ups and downs, but I have to keep reminding myself that no matter how horrid things may be for him now, he has had a very good life up until now (he's 76). My husband's best friend died of cancer last year at the age of 48. So which is worst? I don't really know, but I am counting each day as a gift...
Hi Catherine - I think I can speak for all of us: how good it was to hear that things have stabilised a little regarding your father, at least for the time being. Yes, there is always someone worse off than ourselves, and we have plenty to be grateful for, but even so, there are times when life can get us down, and that is natural, so don't allow it to add to your guilt feelings when it happens again. You expect too much of yourself.
