Hi all you snowheads!!! At last, a report on GG's ski adventure! But first, let me thank you again for your advice and encouragement - it was invaluable. Group hug coming up!I was very glad that I had had that afternoon's 3-hour group lesson at the Snowzone in the UK first, and some sessions at the gym; really worth doing - and those squats Vrooje! We managed to borrow lots on the list but bought good gloves and a few other bits, plus the woolly hat you saw me wearing in the pic that MG posted.
BTW, that was an unbelievable coincidence wasn't it!!! And how did he recognise me?? I thought I made a passable human, but you can't put anything over that goat!
Switzerland was warm (relatively), the sun was shining and the skies were bright blue when we arrived. Stunning. But no snow - at least at nursery slope level. So, having been kitted out, there was nothing for it but to venture higher up. GG, until then accustomed to Australia's rather flatter terrain and to the gently rolling hills of Gascony, had a serious fear of heights to conquer - not to mention mastering getting onto, and more important, getting off the chairlifts. Hyperventilating, and with help (including others signalling ahead to get the operators to slow down the arrival of the chair) and moral support in abundance, I survived with only minor loss of face.
Because we just had three full days to play with, I went for 1:1 lessons. My instructor was a cute Frenchman called Christophe, and my very first lesson was in the area immediately where the chairlift deposits its passengers - on the crest of a peak, where there was a gentle slope of approximately one acre overall, before the slopes descended into proper blue runs. Two sides of this small area were bounded by the chairlift and revolving restaurant (magnificent views over Lake Geneva), the other two bounded by.... a length of flimsy orange plastic, supported at intervals by metal stakes. No barrier to an out-of-control novice! Children were practising there, quite without fear, too small to see what lay past the orange plastic - the wild blue yonder, into which reckless paragliders, strapped to their colourful conveyances, were launching themselves. I tried to respond to Christophe's gung-ho encouragement, but my heart wasn't in it.
So we used the tamest bit of a blue run: steep-ish, but reassuringly basin-like. Here I was happy to hurtle, safe in the knowledge that my falls would be contained - and fall I did of course!
Skiing these days is taught without poles. It is amazing how many different variations of 'spreadeagled' there are. I believe that once I'm allowed poles, I can be taught to hoist myself up - but beats me how! First there's the business of arranging yourself, your limbs and your skis in such a way that you don't slide in the struggle. Then there's your body, weighed down by clobber and skis. Staying up on the damned things is one matter, but getting up from snowy supine is something else, and requires much more strength and skill!
So, how did I do? Yesterday I received the following email, written by coach Christophe to Mountain Goat and forwarded - you've guessed, Mr and Mrs MG were our kind hosts for the duration of this experiment, and we are now firm friends!
Attached to Christophe's email was a photo of GG, tackling the slopes with a face contorted by terror mixed with elation. "Here's a picture about the world champion woman  in January! this is the best beginner so i meet this season, endless pleasure to improve again, because skiing it's very easy when u feel good , and Jane understood that....."
Sigh!!!!
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Mr GG meanwhile, having had only a brief introduction to skiing 32 years ago, was walking tall after his performance on the red runs, with MG as co-skier moral support. Despite some problems with his back beforehand he had made it onto the slopes, and he too positively revelled in the freedom the sport gives you, loved the fresh mountain air, rejoiced in the beauty of the Swiss alps - and in the company of our lovely, attentive hosts in their super-duper chalet. Much fun had by all.
So would we go again? Too right! Ideally though, soon - for my part I don't think the few skills I acquired are likely to stay with me unless reinforced quickly - so we're working on it. Our message to anyone else who hasn't been is 'go for it'! And never believe in the saying 'you can't teach an old goat new tricks'!
Meanwhile, it's exhausting for him. She's as happy as Larry!
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)....although I'd definitely go for the aprés ski 
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